Re Gypsy's Blog

Just a bit of fun. I got the idea from convention for those wounded in love ;o)

Enjoy Re Gypsy xx

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The ten commandments of an average office worker

This statement intends to specify the scope of rights and obligations that may be exercised and enforced by the average office worker based on the grounds of religious beliefs.  Companies are to accept the application of said statement to govern all matters between the worker in relation to the company and agree to indemnify the worker and not discriminate the worker on the grounds of religion.

The religious beliefs of the average office worker are hereby declared below with the interpretation of said religious text written in italics:

1) Thou shall browse and surf the web extensively during office hours. This includes the use of company time to play online internet games, use social networking sites and Ebay. This allows the worker to improve and maintain their hand-eye coordination.

2) Thou shall gossip by the water cooler or in the kitchen during coffee breaks. Communication skills are a vital skill set that need to be regularly maintained. This includes all staff bitching and politics.

3) Thou shall have long coffee breaks but short lunches. All workers enjoy eating at their desks. It reminds them of why they hate working in an office and that they are still waiting for their saviour.

4) Thou shall conduct office meetings at the pub. The atmosphere is conducive to outlining the finer details of a project or a deal.

5) Thou shall look forward to office sex sandals. The company should provide ample spaces for said sex sandals such as photocopy rooms, stationary rooms, staff parties etcetera, etcetera. The gossip helps all workers utilise their time efficiently.

6) Thou shall use company phones and other communication devices for personal communications including emergency phone calls to overseas members of family or friends. This can help workers maintain a healthy work life balance.

7) Thou shall smile politely on a daily basis and love thy neighbour. All workers hate all other employees in their office.

8) Thou shall take sick leaves on a Monday, after long weekends and when the weather is nice. Workers should not be expected to work on religious holidays or on their days of Sabbath.

9) Thou shall never be diligent at the start of a project and only commence work nearing the projects deadline. This allows the worker to be efficient in other aspects of their life.

10) Thou shall perpetually moan, hate working for the said company and be wistful about breaking out of the nine to five. Workers are still waiting for their saviour to take them to out of hell.

Thought of the day – If you were a chocolate what would it be?